In a sea of “New year’s resolution” and goal-setting discussion, I want to bring a perspective that might make you feel lighter, and less pressured to achieve something in 2020.
If the focus of your goals is from the outside in, they usually don’t get met or they feel really tiring and boring to accomplish.
Every year I have done some sort of “goal setting” ritual as one year turned into another and it has always taken different forms. Some years there was a lot of pressure to achieve things. Some years there was a lack of desire to even write much down.
I want to give you some nuggets that might help you do it in a way that will resonate and align for you at a soul level.
Goal setting is typically backward. We focus on the result and forget about what that goal feels like and means to us at its core. If we don’t know that, the passion and the natural energy of the thing we want to create can be missing from the pursuit of it. Which then can lead us to not achieving it at all or in small proportions, and the journey might stink.
It comes down to this. Don’t you want to enjoy the process as much as possible?
Don’t you want to feel complete and whole while achieving goals, experience new things, and discover more about yourself? (Instead of feeling like your goals will complete a fragmented/incomplete you when and only when you achieve them?)
Don’t you want it to feel like it is coming from inside of you and not from outside expectations and pressure? Like an exploratory experience between you and you?
Ok. So I want to give you a few tips to navigate this. I actually this in various ways with my clients now, and I have been for a while because it is so helpful and it works for whatever you want to create in your life.
You have to get to the heart of it. How do you really want to feel inside yourself in your life? Inside your being, your mind, your body?
The word you use is the extension of a feeling, so find a word that feels right to you. This takes some time to just BE with yourself. Find a quiet space, take some breaths and sink into your body. Take your time. Then ask yourself “how do I want to feel more often?” It might come to you immediately or it might be unclear.
If it is unclear then do this practice until it is clear. Also start to see what you naturally gravitate to or what excites you and see if there is a common undercurrent of a feeling you get from it.
You might come up with a few words and that is fine too, just don’t make it too complicated.
Then let this feeling dictate your goals and experiences you want to have this year.
Stay self-aware as you write a list or however you do your “goal-setting” thing. Notice if you’re in your head about it too much or trying to meet other people’s expectations or even your own expectations that don’t serve you. See if you can then sink back to your whole body and heart space and see if there is a different conversation there.
Take your time and be ok with the “open space” of the unknown. Maybe you typically write 40 things down and now only 1 thing comes to you?! What if that was just fine for right now?
I can say a lot more about all of this but I will leave it right here. Know that you can do it exactly your way. If you aren’t sure what “your way” is, know you can find out. Know that you are unique and require a special way of doing this thing called life that is all you. Know that you are alright, just where you are and that you are in a process of constant and unlimited discovery, as we all are.
Know that you got this.