This time last year I was in a really intense place. I had decided to stop practicing Myofascial Release which was a huge decision. It was a deep calling from within.
I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, shame and despair that I did not share publicly.
I let go of Myofascial Release, the work I had been doing for 12 years for good. I had no idea that I would return back to it from a higher more powerful vantage point come the very beginning of 2019, and when I say beginning I mean within the first few days of the year.
Many of you were around during that transition and remember emails I sent out. There was a lot of powerful aligned messages I was bringing forth and sharing and at the same time I was going through a lot of suffering internally.
A few days ago I was at my daughter’s swimming lesson at the local pool. We were at this same pool last year during this same time of year. After her lesson many times we would go to the playground right next to the pool. It has some lovely shade trees there and last year, those moments under the trees with the breeze was a sip of peace, space and freedom even if it only scratched the surface.
So a few days ago I was called to walk amongst the trees while my daughter was in class instead of watching her swim. I walked over and sat next to a tree I was drawn to. I looked to my left and saw the bench I sat on a lot last year. I saw myself sitting there and I remembered and felt vividly the way I had been feeling then.
I allowed some beautiful tears to roll down my cheeks for the suffering I had been in. I decided to rest my back up against the tree I was sitting close to. When I looked up I saw the tree had a large trunk coming out of the earth that separated off into two equal trunks as it ascended up into the sky.
It was a metaphor for what I was experiencing. I was diverging from an old aspect of self and converging with a higher aspect of self. Like parting ways at a junction and saying your goodbyes. What a gorgeous being, this tree, showing me what was happening inside myself.
I spent some more time walking amongst the trees and taking the beauty of it all into my being. As I left the park to headed back to her class, I looked over at the bench and said to my old self sitting on that bench “you will be fine.”
As I walked away I felt a clearing and a release through my body and my energy field. A cycle of completion.
Who I am now is very different from who I was a year ago. This moment of time one year later allowed me to close a chapter as I embark on a new space, place and presence inside of myself. We are always evolving endlessly and that person I was a year ago was another version of me. I looked back and realized how far I have come.
Even though I am sharing this in a way that sounds so concrete and linear, the reality is I have died a thousand deaths of old selves and birthed just as many. So have you.
It can be a really powerful practice to look back and see how far you have come so you can spend time in celebration of who you ARE right now instead of wanting to be at your next place or inner space already.
What is my point of sharing all of this?
Because I was called to.
Because it might just resonate with someone.
Because I am setting it free.
The more we accept ourselves as who we are, the easier all this is.
The kinder to ourselves we are the easier this is.
The more we allow ourselves to be in our flow state (non-resistance) the easier it is to move through emotions. It is quite effortless actually.
The more we take a breath, feel and be inside our bodies and our being, the easier it is to navigate really hard times in our lives.
Yet we also navigate things messily and cumbersome too and it is all ok. We get stuck and that’s ok. We feel lost and that’s ok.
There is no ideal blueprint for your life sitting in a universal library somewhere that says exactly how your life should be. There is no standard that you are meant to constantly align with or one perfect path that you are trying to walk.
You are creating your path every moment and you are never not on it.
We are all constantly navigating life like driving a car. In every moment we have the command of the wheel, the breaks and the gas. We make subtle or large shifts as we need to coming up to bumps in the road, turns we need to make, stop signs, lights and squirrels running across the street.
In each moment we make decisions and we continue forward and onward.